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Not Today
i just want to sit in my ball of self loathing and fester,
soak in these painfull thoughts and memories.
wind my mind around each and every horrid image,
around every hurtfull word and look, and just cry.
cry tears of self hatetrad and abandonment,
knowing that with every flicker of happiness comes a waterfull full of anguish.
trying so hard to be loved and cared about,
succeeding in nothing more than failure.
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