My Withering Mind

June 29, 2010
Everything is something else.
Distorted, detached
From my withering mind
In delusions and fantasies.
I frighten myself
With misshapen dreams
And convoluted wishes.
Where is the beauty
In simple simplicity?
Where is the joy
When everything
Is just as it seems?
All have meanings
Hidden beneath the
Skin of masked beauty.
I peel it back,
Let the blood
Of the heart
Run down my hand.
And taste it.
It’s apples and the sun
And newborn babes.
It’s terror and darkness
And minds twisted
Into nothing more
Than a contorted mess.
But I swallow it all.
And continue.
Till it becomes
A part of me.

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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

sparkofheart said...
Sept. 13, 2010 at 10:14 pm
wow. just wow. LOVE the diction, syntax, rhythm.... basically EVERYTHING about this poem! keep it up - youre amazing. :)
MercedesXO said...
Sept. 10, 2010 at 4:19 pm
thought the poem was great and beautiful. i really enjoyed it. the only thing i would say is the "simply simplicity" thing. that was sort of akward wording, and sort of close in meaning to be worded together. but besides that great job:) again. haha
laurathewise said...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 6:39 pm
I have to post another comment just to geek out about how amazing this is. So, it's AWESOME. And I don't say that lightly. Arrggghhh I want to print this out and tack it to my wall...but I won't, b/c that's plagiarism. Anyway I love it.
laurathewise said...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Ok...I am definitely favoriting this one!!!!! My only criticism is that the line "Than a contorted mess" sounds odd for some reason, probably because of the word "mess." It does not seem to match the tone of the words around it (twisted, contorted, terror, darkness---mess? One of these things is not like the other...)


I've read some of your feedback for other people and would LOVE it if you critiqued some of my stuff. Nothing's published, it's all in threads in the poetry... (more »)

sleeplessdreamer replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 10:18 pm
haha thanks for both of your comments. I would be glad to check out some of your work!
beautiful_but_torn said...
Aug. 21, 2010 at 10:36 am

This was amazing.

I loved it.

It was very well written,

with a deep meaning, and it was beautiul!:)

introducing.me_899 said...
Aug. 16, 2010 at 8:01 am
:D awesome..I think i get it. haha i think this is worded excellently though, so good job! this really makes u think/givs insight, nice- i like insightful poems
Inherinerd said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm
This was a comlpete jumble... But that's what i loved about it!!!! It was sort of like all of the madness compacted into a poem. very nice ( i promise that i mean all of this and i am not just saying this)
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:44 pm
This is really good! A little on the dark side, but I enjoyed the realness of it. You're very talented. Check out my work if you want and comment please! =]
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