My Withering Mind

June 29, 2010
By sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous


Everything is something else.
Distorted, detached
From my withering mind
In delusions and fantasies.
I frighten myself
With misshapen dreams
And convoluted wishes.
Where is the beauty
In simple simplicity?
Where is the joy
When everything
Is just as it seems?
All have meanings
Hidden beneath the
Skin of masked beauty.
I peel it back,
Let the blood
Of the heart
Run down my hand.
And taste it.
It’s apples and the sun
And newborn babes.
It’s terror and darkness
And minds twisted
Into nothing more
Than a contorted mess.
But I swallow it all.
And continue.
Till it becomes
A part of me.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 9 comments.


on Sep. 13 2010 at 10:14 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
16 articles 2 photos 254 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always" - Severus Snape

wow. just wow. LOVE the diction, syntax, rhythm.... basically EVERYTHING about this poem! keep it up - youre amazing. :)

on Sep. 10 2010 at 4:19 pm
MercedesXO DIAMOND, South Easton, Massachusetts
52 articles 0 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I realize that life is risks. It's acknowledging the past but looking forward. It's taking chances that we will make mistakes but believeing we all deserve to be forgiven."
-The Dead Tossed Waves.

thought the poem was great and beautiful. i really enjoyed it. the only thing i would say is the "simply simplicity" thing. that was sort of akward wording, and sort of close in meaning to be worded together. but besides that great job:) again. haha

on Sep. 5 2010 at 10:18 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

haha thanks for both of your comments. I would be glad to check out some of your work!

on Sep. 5 2010 at 6:39 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

I have to post another comment just to geek out about how amazing this is. So, it's AWESOME. And I don't say that lightly. Arrggghhh I want to print this out and tack it to my wall...but I won't, b/c that's plagiarism. Anyway I love it.

on Sep. 5 2010 at 6:37 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Ok...I am definitely favoriting this one!!!!! My only criticism is that the line "Than a contorted mess" sounds odd for some reason, probably because of the word "mess." It does not seem to match the tone of the words around it (twisted, contorted, terror, darkness---mess? One of these things is not like the other...)

 

I've read some of your feedback for other people and would LOVE it if you critiqued some of my stuff. Nothing's published, it's all in threads in the poetry and fiction forums, but I'd really appreciate it!


on Aug. 21 2010 at 10:36 am
beautiful_but_torn GOLD, West Jefferson, North Carolina
18 articles 2 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's all make believe, isn't it?
Marilyn Monroe

This was amazing.

I loved it.

It was very well written,

with a deep meaning, and it was beautiul!:)


on Aug. 16 2010 at 8:01 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

:D awesome..I think i get it. haha i think this is worded excellently though, so good job! this really makes u think/givs insight, nice- i like insightful poems

on Jul. 27 2010 at 3:02 pm
Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
16 articles 9 photos 302 comments

Favorite Quote:
A word to the wise ain't nessecary it's the stupid ones that need the advise

This was a comlpete jumble... But that's what i loved about it!!!! It was sort of like all of the madness compacted into a poem. very nice ( i promise that i mean all of this and i am not just saying this)

on Jul. 25 2010 at 10:44 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
This is really good! A little on the dark side, but I enjoyed the realness of it. You're very talented. Check out my work if you want and comment please! =]




MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!