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She gets to me

I let it happen,
without wanting it to.
She enters my mind,
While my angry blood rises.

She had him before I,
He loved her with all his heart.
She has part of his love still,
Always will.

We were friends,
While she was happy,
When she threw away happiness,
I picked it up,
And was accused of being,
a backstabber.

She believes her intelligence,
Gets stronger daily.
Although her maturity,
Slips down the drain.

I try not to be childish
Tell myself not to let it happen.
But my fighting can't stop it,
She gets to me.



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iWriteToExpressThouqhts said...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 1:58 pm
this is so true . I know that I have been in this situation before . Great work ! please comment and rate my work ? :)
 
sleeplessdreamer said...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 8:42 pm

This has a lot better flow than your Here Comes the Rain poem. I also feel more connected to the characters emotions. Overall I think this is a very strong poem, but I do have a few pointers.

In the first line of your second stanza you say "She had him before I" ... I is supposed to be me in this case, because its the object of the preposition. Also, you have some commas in between lines where you shouldn't. I love where you seperated your sentences for the flow of the poem, but y... (more »)

 
Saint_that_Sins This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 23, 2010 at 2:15 pm
a classic tale...many more know your pain. Sorry it happen to you.
 
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