A Trip to the Wilderness

July 15, 2010
By victoriaj98 SILVER, Paramount, California
victoriaj98 SILVER, Paramount, California
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Green , coarse trees as far as the eye can see.
Scratchy tree bark rubbung against my palm.
Stony rocks interupting the trees.
The warm gentle sun lllabying my face.

All you hear in the forest is silence ,
a key ingredient.
It's peaceful and chiming.
Birds hoting and chirping.
Ah yes, it is natures true sounds.

The fresh piney pine smell tickles my
Little worms scurry from the damp
earth to the musty , mulch.

Can you feel the cold winter breeze
f a d i n g ?

The stifled air with low oxygen
just bearly slipping away.

Trees , air , woods , and wilderness ;
Ah yes , the principle ideas of life.

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This article has 8 comments.

on Jul. 26 2010 at 11:13 am
hiddenbird122 SILVER, West Babylon, New York
8 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A real friend is one who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out."

-Walter Winchell

hi :) i thought it was good, but the only part i didn't really like was when you talked about the "piney pine smell." i thought it didn't flow and you used the same words next to each other. but other than that, good job! 

on Jul. 26 2010 at 11:06 am
xiao_girl BRONZE, Sheboygan, Wisconsin
1 article 3 photos 7 comments
I enjoyed reading this poem...Great job..keep it up

Wordart SILVER said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 12:49 am
Wordart SILVER, Arvada, Colorado
9 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hate is forgotten love.

Paranoya is the brute strength of fear.

Gum is sticky, like time.

You described about 95% of what I feel when I go camping in the Rockies.  The 5% you left out was for the feeling of the sun on my skin and how while I'm there I think of how delicate it all is.

231322 said...
on Jul. 25 2010 at 10:06 pm
I'm a little confused. You say you "hear the silence." Can you really hear silence? Then, you go on to say that you hear the birds "hoting and chirping." Is anything really silent? Nature may have a certain sense of simplicity, but is it ever silent? Also, are trees, air, wilderness and woods really ideas?

on Jul. 24 2010 at 1:09 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Creatively described, this made me feel like I was really there! It really captures the beauty of remote nature. I especially liked the second stanza. Well done!

Danica SILVER said...
on Jul. 23 2010 at 2:31 pm
Danica SILVER, Avondale, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is our choices, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities." -- Albus Dumbledore

I thought this was amazing!  I absolutely love your descriptions, especially how you describe silence as "a key ingredient."  Great job :D

on Jul. 23 2010 at 12:29 pm
origamifrogs BRONZE, Worcester, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments
This was alright. The rhythm seemed a bit stiff, and the way you used your commas (with spaces) was distracting. The was some decent imagery, like in stanza two.

on Jul. 22 2010 at 11:55 pm
crubs33 DIAMOND, Lido Beach, New York
58 articles 3 photos 750 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud."- Coco Chanel
Life isn't about surviving the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Wow i love it!! is so descriptive and the word choice is incredible!!! if you could please rate and comment on my work that wuld be awesome!!! especially to anonymous!!! thanks and ur really good!!!

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