I have finally realized what's wrong with me.
After so many years of never truly being happy.
There are no self inflicted wounds on my body outside.
But what you can't see are the numerous thoughts of wanting to die.
With a bruised heart and a cut soul, I can't take it anymore.
I just want to be alone in my room and behind me the locked door.
After being pushed away again and again.
I can't help but feel closer to the end.
Growing custom to being alone in my life.
The only thing I ever trust, is the hand holding the knife.
I become distant with everyone in my life before they can with me.
Because I don't want to be the one who is always hurting.
When I'm alone I take off my disguise.
Looking forward to being on the other side.
No one knows who I am or what I have become.
No one knows what I am capable of or what I've done.
I will never resort to suicide, but the thoughts still occur.
But I know when I'm gone, all I'll be remembered as is Her.