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Undeserving

i want to think
you wouldnt hurt me anymore.
that everything could be the way
we thought it would be before.
before you broke my heart.
before you walked away.
before when i believed you,
when you promised me you'd stay.
but everything she says,
makes so much sense.
you only come around,
when you think i'll stop needing you.
when i'm happy,
with someone else.
when i'm getting over you,
with their help.
so tell me,
is everything you say
a lie?
to drag me back into
the black hole you call your heart.
to pull me away
from what's making me happy.
is that how it works?
can i not be happy,
if it's not with you?
do you even really want me?
or can you just not stand
me not wanting you?
i've built you up so high,
but you're the one
who tore you down.
with all the lies
and all the games.
with every crack
and scar you've made.
i'm done
crying over
the things you've done.
you don't deserve that satisfaction.
you don't deserve my love.





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