The pain, the ache, and
The embarrassment
Life is like a roller coaster that you build you have ups and downs and you
Sometimes feel like everything has come to a complete stop
It starts
The doctor walks in and all the hopes you
Ever have seemed to erase and disappear
Then all of a sudden the speed of life picks Up and
You’re about to go through a loop that looks never ending
Week after week you go for treatments
Throwing up and losing hair
You see the heads turn and you see the pity in their eyes
Then on hand and knee you go
You’ve given up
You’re last chance is slipping through your fingers
Loop after loop
Life is spinning
No longer do you want to live with
The pain, the ache, and
The embarrassment
You start again
The doctor walks in and you make an emergency stop
The shock, the astonishment,
and the surprise
The doctor can’t explain
The tumor shrank? The process is reversing?
You hit reverse and all the hopes you had for the future
Are slowly becoming clearer…
The treatments are less frequent
You are gaining color and your hair is growing
The pity turns to joy
The shock, the astonishment, and
The surprise
Your speed is becoming constant
The loops and turns seem not to matter
The doctors have nothing but good new
They don’t understand
“How can a stage three become nothing at all? Did we miss diagnose?”
Life goes on again back to plain ups and downs
Everything is so different once you battle for
Your life
The things that used to matter so much seem to have no meaning at all
On hand and knee you go
That second chance that you had only wished for is sitting right in front of you
If only you were to grab it
The strength, the courage, and
The understanding
No one can understand how it happened
They’re all still in shock
You continue life like nothing ever happened
It’s in the past right who cares
He was there to carry you when you needed Him most
And all He wants in return is for you to love Him
But you turn
You let go
You walk away and leave Him in your dust.
Years pass
You choose the wide, you choose not to care
To be the follower
Everything you believed in
All the hopes and dreams you once had are all gone
You sit there looking back
“What ever happened to that me?”
Wishing you could take it all back
To start fresh
To talk to the creator and start a new rollercoaster
To rebuild who you are
The downward drop seems to go on forever
Then you realize you have control
You, you pull the breaks
You come clean
You start over
Life becomes a constant again
Friends become friends again
You blend the new and the old you and make a new you
You stand for the ones who never got that chance
You show the world who you are
Then one day that loop you saw so many years ago is back…
It’s suddenly in the distance
The confusion sets in
“He wanted me to love Him…and I do? Don’t I?”
You put all your faith in Him
He understand.
He’s been there…He’s done that
Life seems to be moving in slow motion
The doctor walks in…
The shock, the pain, the astonishment,
The ache, the embarrassment and the surprise they are all there
They greet you with a friendly hello
The doctor doesn’t know how to explain
The tumor is back
Its small we’ll start you on the treatment right away
You go on hand and knee
You give it all
You try to understand but can’t
“What did I ever do to deserve this?”
Week after week you go for treatment
Throwing up and losing hair
You have faith that it’ll turn around again
The speed picks up everything becomes a blear..you start to rock back and forth
The doctor is in pain
To see how your life was turned upside down
And by some strength you got through it the first time
Then to see you give up no
To see you throw in the towel and give in
You hit sage two. You start giving up..
“Why me?”
You start blaming..
“What did I ever do to you? You wanted me to love you and I did. You wanted me to believe in you and you make me suffer?”
Your wheels start to spark
You’re going way to fast
You try to pull the break but it’s too late you’ve gone too far
You can’t back up, you can only speed forward
Or so you’re lead to believe
You hit stage three
You’re in shock
The treatments stop working so you stop going
You lose your color you become weak
You give up
You’re waiting for it to take you
The doctors give you a time line
You start your good byes
You become completely okay with death your ready for it
Looking back on life you don’t understand
“How did I get through it the first time?”
One last time you go on hand and knee
You’ve given in..you’ve done..
No I won’t give up
I haven’t done everything
I have faith, I do believe
Because I have strength,
I do have courage, and
I do understand