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Fallen Walls

I once was so young a dreamer
Self-absorbed and quite a fool
I danced to silent melodies
And kissed the silvery moon.

My heart once filled with idols
All safe in temple walls
Now rest entombed within my memory
For from their perches did they fall.

Twas' once a merry dreamer
Till my fortune fate did take
The earth around me trembled
The temple walls did quake.

I watched in fear of nature
As each goddess took their fall
And now they lie in pieces
'Neath the fallen temple walls.



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i.ll_be_fine_899This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 10:19 am:
ohh, that was really good dude. u said that beautifully. i liked the line where it said "kissed the silvery moon" too
 
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gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:45 pm:
This was so expressive and realistic, and I can ABSOLUTELY relate.  I've had the same experience.
 
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A_Dreamer said...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:04 pm:

I love your style of writing in this poem! Usually I'm not one who likes things written in that style, but you made it enjoyable to read. :)

I also love your word choice, you did an amazing job describing everything.

 
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Pitiful_Anonymous said...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:55 pm:

This is really good. I have to say again that i LOVE the shakespearean style writing, it just makes my heart melt lol :)

You painted the picture very vividly, and as i was reading i could tell exactly what you were saying, and how you felt. It almost seemed as if you were comparing it to an earthquake, that forced your idols off the pedastal.

I like it very much. :)

 
respecturself7 replied...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:39 pm :
Thanks so much for all ur support!!! I'm really glad u enjoy it. And yes, u were right bout the earthquake thing.
 
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