June 7, 2010
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Do you feel my pain, do you feel my hurt, do you see my tears, do you not see my smile, do you not feel my misery. You aren't living my life, you aren't in my shoes, you aren't in my body. You don't know what it's like to be me. So sit back and let me tell my story, not of fun and games but of pain and shame. I've let so many people put pain in my heart, shame to my name. Dreams to death, hope to nope, love to hate, kind to mean, joy to grief. So many times I've been told "you ain't nothin, you ain't worth nothin" or "girl please, the people that love you are ashamed of you". So I sit, miserable, bitter, mean, unhopeful,painful. It's like getting shot 20 times, not dying just crying, not suffering just suffering, not bleeding just breathing. So many words people have said to me make me shut down and totally feel like I'm just one dead, useless, priceless, loveless, rock sitting in the dirt crying all my life. Pain in my heart, Shame in my name. Nobody knows the real me, how much pride I would've had in myself if I wasn't shut down so much. No pain in my heart, No shame to my name. Just...Me... See the real me behind the tears, pain, shame,grief,hurt,suffering, crying, dying inside. Nobody knows me but me...
Pain in my heart,
Shame to my name.

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