One beat too long too let go

One Beat Too Long To Let Go
One beat two steps 3 tears 4




It all reminds me of the day when I walked through that door
To mass destruction chaos thunder trickling all so quietly




My breathe slow and deep I could feel my heart fighting to tear out of my chest into yours

And to have you breathing, living, your eyes open and your lips moving.

I stood there hoping the roof would cave in and crash down on me


because I felt like somebody had taken my veins out of me cut the back of my ankles and I fell to the ground



as they dangled them in front of me



they didn’t care that you your smile and your stars you stole and your words you left behind were gone

your eyes could not open and your veins




you took those out yourself
I remember you taking a dollar out of your massive grey wallet and handing it to the ice cream lady as she asked me what kind of ice cream I wanted
That day I wanted orange my favorite color


but that day they ran out of orange and the closest thing they had was cherry
cherry red

So I settled for red


until now because now in my memory that red turns to the red of your body

dripping dripping dripping

so close to your hands
Those hands you once interlocked with mine as we walked around the block and you told me stories of how one day
youd be famous
and one day I would be bigger and taller
I can hear a ringing in my ear
its your voice telling me to…
Nothing! To nothing! Because you cant utter a single word

I know somehow you didn’t expect to make a big deal
but you did
you did
you took my sky and painted half of it an ugly shade orange forever because as I looked down at your end
I wanted it to be mine

but something
someone
you
held me together
To now I look up instead of down because I remember you told me not to ever look down unless I have to tie my shoe, or there is some money on the ground
And I see your eyes in the clouds
I hear your voice through my ipod speakers
and I see your skin in my own

and even though at times it is so hard to do
I say to myself
One beat two steps 3 tears 4
One beat too long to let go





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