Ode to depression

June 12, 2010
By Paper_Poetic GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
Paper_Poetic GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Ahh depression; My welcome friend That keeps me up at night, That stokes the fire of my mind. I welcome you back, From your extended absence We have some catching up to do you know Ahh depression; My welcome friend That leaks the poison, Into my mind And to my heart. I welcomeyou back, From your extended absence. We have some catching up to do you know. Ahh depression; My welcome friend. I've lost a father, I've lost a lover, So lets spend more time together. We have some catching up to do you know. We have some catching up to do.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 1 comment.


Mere said...
on Feb. 3 2011 at 11:25 pm

Starting off, I felt like the poem was too low-key to be using a phrase that invited passion into the mix, such as "strokes the fire of my mind". Fire is bright, most imagery involving fire is bright, and not usually used in a poem dealing with darkness. If you're looking for something meeker, try something to do with water. It can range anything from tranquil (a peaceful stream) to vicious (a stormy ocean).

Also, you know me, you know I'm a control freak. I am forever bothered by the fact that the line numbering in your stanzas go like this: 5,2,1,5,2,1,5,2. You don't end on a one... my OCD mind just goes crazy. Not that this really matters, just thought I'd let you know.

Things I like however! I like that you personify depression. It was much less boring than other sad poems, where people just say "so yeah hey guys. im depressed. /cry." So it made depressiong feel friendly, almost like he was relieving you from the stress of dealing with everything else. Good use of personification.

The repition at the end was a perfect placement of literary elements. Nice, strong, finished ending.

I feel like you told me a story behind why you wrote this poem but I don't remember it. Sorry P:





MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!