Ode to depression

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Ahh depression;
My welcome friend
That keeps me up at night,
That stokes the fire of my mind.

I welcome you back,
From your extended absence

We have some catching up to do you know

Ahh depression;
My welcome friend
That leaks the poison,
Into my mind
And to my heart.

I welcomeyou back,
From your extended absence.

We have some catching up to do you know.

Ahh depression;
My welcome friend.
I've lost a father,
I've lost a lover,
So lets spend more time together.

We have some catching up to do you know.
We have some catching up to do.





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Mere said...
Feb. 3, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Starting off, I felt like the poem was too low-key to be using a phrase that invited passion into the mix, such as "strokes the fire of my mind". Fire is bright, most imagery involving fire is bright, and not usually used in a poem dealing with darkness. If you're looking for something meeker, try something to do with water. It can range anything from tranquil (a peaceful stream) to vicious (a stormy ocean).

Also, you know me, you know I'm a control freak. I am forever bothered by the ... (more »)

 
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