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Time slows for you This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

Every time you walk by
time slows, do you see
the dandelion fluffs
that are carried on the breeze
move like time is a great
expanse of never-ending
plains
when i look into
the deep pools of water
that are your eyes
i can feel the wind cease
and when your voice
sings over the air
the water that normally
laps around my ankles
like morning light over the mountains
flows lethargically in
a moment of slowed time
and when you whisper
your silent song into
my ears
and eyes
the sharp tongue which normally
leaps like a fish inside my mouth
is unresponsive
and my words are all muddled

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

zeedancer said...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 9:09 pm:
:OOO Amazing! You captured the essence of a heart-stopping crush!! Keep Writing! :DD .
 
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SarahSmile said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 10:11 am:
yes, that's exactly exactly how it feels. beautiful. thank you.
 
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JM Mansfield said...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 10:54 am:
Wow.  You really captured that feeling of being in a different time-space when there is someone who catches your eye.  And it is not just that you like that person, but it is the way you FEEL that person...in the air, on your skin, in your mouth, in your mind...I get it!  Keep writing!
 
queenofspades This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 4:36 pm :
Thank you!
 
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sleeplessdreamer said...
Jul. 18, 2010 at 6:38 pm:

WARNING: I'm severely honest.

Kind of hard to read. There was little flow to it. I had to read it again to fully hear the song inside of it. And your similes and metaphors were a little distracting from the point of the poem. The fish in her mouth was a little bizarre. I could see though what you were trying to portray, and I think with some patching up this could be great.

 
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