You're Alive as You'll Ever Be

May 21, 2010
It was you sitting there
Your body shaking erratically
looking gray and thin
You can't hold water to your lips
You can't sit up without screaming in pain
I love you.
And it killed me to see you
In one week was all the time
It took to thin you out and kill you
I love you.
I didn't recognize the body sitting under the bed sheets
I didn't recognize the whisper that talked to me as if I was a stranger
I didn't even recognize the shrunken eyes wandering, scared to death, screaming in pain
I love you.
I wanted to stay with you
but I couldn't do anything
all I could do was watch you die
just sit there while you screamed out in pain
I love you.
But I recognize the voice that spoke so clear to my ears from the white flowered casket
sitting in the front of the church.
You sit there too still. To gray to live.
I whispered to you but you wouldn't answer
Tears streamed down my face but your mouth wouldn't move.
I love you.
I miss you.

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