Anywhere but in the Ground.

May 30, 2010
By counterintuitive BRONZE, Saint John, Other
counterintuitive BRONZE, Saint John, Other
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am not young enough to know everything. -Wilde

His contract with the air he swallows is up
But beams of sunlight still drip from his eyes
And echos of life still reached his ears
Twisted furrows dress his face,
They dance when he inhales.

A life time wasted as it would seem
His heart drops flimsly into the oceans he had wished to visit
when he was alive, fighting,
with ripples of woe bathing his consciousness
when he battled an imaginary storm.

Into heaven he hoped to fly
Into his ideal paradise where he could swim in lemonade
And his delicious days could be undaunted by regret
Where his eyes are bubbly
and his heart is captured in rapture

He thought he'd be setting sale in a helium buoyed home
with the city gazing as a jubilation of balloons in fresh young colors
Carried him to his paradise
A panoply of color and light drizzling onto the streets.

He thought he'd breathe in his escape
And sit in wait like water
and wait for heaven, his paradise where he will find his dad
Rivulets streaming from firefly eyes

He thought he'd celebrate in his paradise
but regret tugs on his hand
It pours heavy realization into his heart
His life spent on the earthly roads
Felt wasted and starved of the adventures he wanted to have
He had cheated himself out of a longer life
And now this paradise was a prison
his noose as the ball and chain
And his decision to fly sewed seeds of dolour in the eyes of his loved ones

He took fate into his own arms
Carried it and trained it to do what he wanted
He flew away from fremescent mornings and silent evenings of earth
To be in a hopeful place
a place where we all hope he is now:
anywhere but in the ground.

The author's comments:
A friend of mine hung himself last november. To deal with loss I wrote a smug and unhopeful idea of what happened to him when he died. He had so much going for him.

stanza 1
He has decided to hang himself and
as he does he makes his final decision and his face is distorted with the absence of life

He believed that his life, with the drugs and the loss and the continued disappointment he gave to his mother, was wasted although he never did get to visit everywhere he wanted to "...the oceans he had wished to visit"

By killing himself, he wanted an escape maybe to heaven, where he had no problems

I then went on to use the movie UP as a reference, maybe thinking that his noose was parallel to the house that flew to a paradise in the movie.

his dad also died 3 years ago, I began to think of his wanting to be with his father.

The end of the poem is where I get bitter and think of everything that he hadn't done with his life. He could have changed things for himself but instead he left experiences he could have had behind him on earth, along with the people on it.

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