Crash

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Beautiful day of love
Passion spent in little kisses
But with the falling dark
creeps that present evil
Screaming images race through my head only flashes
distant photos now
I leave and return and leave and return
And leave..
Am I alone?
Snow and ice drifts my speeding car
I sob uncontrolled at a loss
One more turn
I skid through a turn my car disobeys
Headlights blind me heading for my heart
I turn frantically but swear I press the brake
but it wasn't it was the gas
I zoom into it
The last coherent flash
Headlights lighting a metal rail
I am whipped forward
My sternum and ribs explode against the wheel
All at once my head bursts from behind
And I am


thrown sideways into my window
I call him…. Crying I am so sorry! You don’t have to love me
But help… please
My mother is next where are you?
Where am I?
D I S
CON N E
C
T
Am I dying? Sleep is good……..
NO! awake must remain awake….
Lids.. closing mind ….s…h…u…t…t…i…n…g…… d…o…w…..n
Dying mind
Peace, sleep
I answer yes
No! I have to kiss him again
Hyperventilating, I can’t breathe!
If I don’t die from head trauma I’ll suffocate
Calm down, give in
Can’t feel my fingers or legs so n u m b
What happened?
All of a sudden he pulls me out of the car
……….How?
He holds me and takes me to the life giving warmth
I can breathe with him
Is this real? His heart beats
Loss of time
Years? days?
She comes, concerned not for me but for her possessions
Same as always, it's expected
Don’t want to go home
Doctors faces…repeating story…. Barely remember
Make it sound less harmful
Reduse my speeding car to a puttering cautious one
He holds my hand and kisses me
we are one again
.........
Am I alive?
I s.l..e…e….p…………….

Am I awake or dreaming now?
The lines of space and reality blur
Thank God its Monday… my day off
No, says the voice, Tuesday.
What happened?!
Hospital braclets… cars
Bruises
Grateful for more life
Damage …..should have hurt me more
More chances
FRUSTRATED
WHAT HAPPENED?
Did I mean it?
No
But I can’t prove it
Relief I hurt no one …..but I did hurt him
He worries and calls every half hour
I am grateful again
Still I wish I knew
But only flashes
Images caught in time
can feed my mind
I took my heart from wreckage
But left the memory


Far




behind





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