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I Will Help

By , Seattle, WA
I know her too well to not be able to tell when something is wrong
the tilt of her head, wrinkle of her fingers
they seem so trivial, insignificant
that would be a stupid assumtion, that these hints mean nothing
ask "are you okay"
and get overwhelmed
say "want to talk"
get a novel of a light year's length
I need to help
I can not stand here, watching, knowing, not helping
I want to help
I can help
I put my arm gentley around her shoulder and listen
I listen so hard my ears couldn't possibly hold anymore sorrow
the sorrow makes its depressing way from my brain to my stomach
slugging its way through every possible happy space in my body
I told you so
I told you so everyday
every chance I had
I told you so
but now all I can do is listen
and hurt along with you
walk with you like your father down the aisle
leading you
I lead you on even though every step, every move hurts
I don't know why I continue to the alter
holding your hand every mile of the way
but even though it hurts
I continue because I love you
and I know my unatural happiness forces you to keep walking
so I will keep pushing
I will keep dragging you by your hand untill you get there
I will keep leading the person that was supposed to lead me





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