Relentless Lullaby

May 28, 2010
By sky_is_womb BRONZE, Moorestown, New Jersey
sky_is_womb BRONZE, Moorestown, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
All the soarings of my mind begin within my blood- Rilke


Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Let these waves be my soothing lullaby
Let these burning mute stars forever stay alive
Perpetually shine relentlessly like these crashing swells
That carry on regardless of what the story tells.
Through day and night they continue to ripple
The sea, oblivious to even a tiny dribble
Of a beginning storm, or the wailing cry of lost mothers
Whose sons went out to sea with their crew-their brothers-
Never again to return home. Relentlessly the salty nodes
Shake the waters, some unknown enigmatic heavenly code
Of Mother Nature, never to be cracked by our mundane minds.
As I lay here now in this cradle-like chamber
I am reminded of your kiss, your sent here that lingers
On the threshold of my nose and the corners of my mind- and I say
Force yourself, my love, from this hypnotic state!
Break free, my God, and live! Can you not relate
To these white-capped waves that rock me like a child tonight?
Leave your work that has spoiled, turned menial, despite
The fact life is not always as beautiful as they say
Drive nightmares-imaginary and breathing- from your mind away
Leaving only memories and whispers of before. Release that fire
That burns in your belly, and has from the start. Let that desire
Escape through the bars in which it to often retires
When I know you were made to do much greater things
For I can see right through you, your skin like cellophane
And inside hides the potential and wonder your calloused heart contains.
Come closer, my love, cast out all your fears
Forget all, crawl inside the sheets with me, and whisper in my ear
That age-old prayer, by-and-by,
And rock me with the waves, my relentless lullaby.



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This article has 13 comments.


agentAW BRONZE said...
on Aug. 18 2010 at 7:36 pm
agentAW BRONZE, Phoenix, Arizona
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
this is good. i don't normally like long poems but this was too good! it makes me think of something a dying person might write! i don't know if that's want you want to hear though.

on Aug. 18 2010 at 11:03 am
avantgarde GOLD, Stillwater, Minnesota
10 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
I write for the same reason I breathe...because if I didn't I would die. --Isaac Asimov

Your rhyming and imagery are probably some of the best I've seen! I am taken to a whole new place when I read your poetry. Great work!

on Aug. 18 2010 at 8:19 am
amandap PLATINUM, Midlothian, Virginia
31 articles 0 photos 183 comments
I love this! yes, I see how the lines were supposed to be off beat, and I think it almost works forthis, depending on your perspective on poetry, some people like it to be perfect, but some, like me, like it messy and off-kilter. :) it works! keep it up!

on Jul. 14 2010 at 6:22 pm
respecturself7 SILVER, Medina, New York
8 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is a natural law in life to settle.....I broke that law ~Katherine Hepburn
Love, Is the severest of mental diseases~U.K.
Spinning always spinning....when life puts me down I'll give you a call~respecturself7

Really cool poem. Different, mysterious and very creative. I love the word choice and imagery. I felt every word. Awesome job:)

on Jul. 14 2010 at 3:37 pm
sky_is_womb BRONZE, Moorestown, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
All the soarings of my mind begin within my blood- Rilke

the lines were suppose to be a little off beat like how sometimes waves in the ocean are- but thank you

on Jul. 14 2010 at 1:41 pm
SlamminMan GOLD, Sandown, New Hampshire
15 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life to the fullest no matter what the stakes are.

this piece is very good and very creative. i have been doing poetry for two years and i am on a youth team that is going to nationals and i've nver heard anything like it. very good job...

my one critque is to make the lines flow into each other... other than that great job... now you look at mine??


on Jul. 13 2010 at 11:04 pm
ReadWriteBreathe PLATINUM, Pocatello, Idaho
24 articles 4 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you" Tyler Durden Fight Club

This is really good. I loved it. I don't have any critisism.

on Jul. 13 2010 at 6:36 pm

simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!

I feel like I don't know enough about poetry to give you a good and thorough criticism of this piece lol but I can say that I was really impressed by it and I liked it a lot!

keep writing!!!!


mask456 GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2010 at 6:10 pm
mask456 GOLD, Marietta, Georgia
14 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is no fire without smoke

OMg i love this poem! i cant waity to hear more by you!

on Jul. 13 2010 at 6:09 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

I LOVED this, so beautiful and free, excellent rhyme and rhythm, very sweet.  Amazing.

on Jul. 13 2010 at 6:07 pm
Pitiful_Anonymous PLATINUM, New Cumberland, West Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and all you f***ers go beep beep beep in cheap,plastic cars. If It's to dumb to see or say you'll still sing it, and I'll just cue the applause" - Marilyn Manson

This is good. I really like how you took the first few lines that are known world wide, and made it into something all your own. Your'e rather creative, and oyu show that through the words you used.

I like it. good job. :)


on Jul. 13 2010 at 4:06 pm
babigerl1194 PLATINUM, Margaretville, New York
23 articles 10 photos 155 comments

Favorite Quote:
wat doesnt kill you only makes you stronger

This was good. The length was perfect and I love how you could take something classic to make it yours. Impressive. p.s plz look at my work too?

riley... GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2010 at 2:44 pm
riley... GOLD, Yakima, Washington
13 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." edgar allen poe.

good. almost reminded me of a song my mom used to sing to me. lol... but yeah i love the line, "Force yourself, my love, from this hypnotic state!"  good job


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