Relentless Lullaby

May 28, 2010
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Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Let these waves be my soothing lullaby
Let these burning mute stars forever stay alive
Perpetually shine relentlessly like these crashing swells
That carry on regardless of what the story tells.
Through day and night they continue to ripple
The sea, oblivious to even a tiny dribble
Of a beginning storm, or the wailing cry of lost mothers
Whose sons went out to sea with their crew-their brothers-
Never again to return home. Relentlessly the salty nodes
Shake the waters, some unknown enigmatic heavenly code
Of Mother Nature, never to be cracked by our mundane minds.
As I lay here now in this cradle-like chamber
I am reminded of your kiss, your sent here that lingers
On the threshold of my nose and the corners of my mind- and I say
Force yourself, my love, from this hypnotic state!
Break free, my God, and live! Can you not relate
To these white-capped waves that rock me like a child tonight?
Leave your work that has spoiled, turned menial, despite
The fact life is not always as beautiful as they say
Drive nightmares-imaginary and breathing- from your mind away
Leaving only memories and whispers of before. Release that fire
That burns in your belly, and has from the start. Let that desire
Escape through the bars in which it to often retires
When I know you were made to do much greater things
For I can see right through you, your skin like cellophane
And inside hides the potential and wonder your calloused heart contains.
Come closer, my love, cast out all your fears
Forget all, crawl inside the sheets with me, and whisper in my ear
That age-old prayer, by-and-by,
And rock me with the waves, my relentless lullaby.

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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

agentAW said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 7:36 pm
this is good. i don't normally like long poems but this was too good! it makes me think of something a dying person might write! i don't know if that's want you want to hear though.
avantgarde said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 11:03 am
Your rhyming and imagery are probably some of the best I've seen! I am taken to a whole new place when I read your poetry. Great work!
mandapanda9736 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 8:19 am
I love this! yes, I see how the lines were supposed to be off beat, and I think it almost works forthis, depending on your perspective on poetry, some people like it to be perfect, but some, like me, like it messy and off-kilter. :) it works! keep it up!
SlamminMan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 1:41 pm

this piece is very good and very creative. i have been doing poetry for two years and i am on a youth team that is going to nationals and i've nver heard anything like it. very good job...

my one critque is to make the lines flow into each other... other than that great job... now you look at mine??

sleepycupid replied...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 3:37 pm
the lines were suppose to be a little off beat like how sometimes waves in the ocean are- but thank you
luv2write4ever said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 11:04 pm
This is really good. I loved it. I don't have any critisism.
AvengedJasonFold said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 6:36 pm

simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!

I feel like I don't know enough about poetry to give you a good and thorough criticism of this piece lol but I can say that I was really impressed by it and I liked it a lot!

keep writing!!!!

mask456 said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 6:10 pm
OMg i love this poem! i cant waity to hear more by you!
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 6:09 pm
I LOVED this, so beautiful and free, excellent rhyme and rhythm, very sweet.  Amazing.
Pitiful_Anonymous said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 6:07 pm

This is good. I really like how you took the first few lines that are known world wide, and made it into something all your own. Your'e rather creative, and oyu show that through the words you used.

I like it. good job. :)

babigerl1194 said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 4:06 pm
This was good. The length was perfect and I love how you could take something classic to make it yours. Impressive. p.s plz look at my work too?
riley... said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 2:44 pm
good. almost reminded me of a song my mom used to sing to me. lol... but yeah i love the line, "Force yourself, my love, from this hypnotic state!"  good job
respecturself7 replied...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Really cool poem. Different, mysterious and very creative. I love the word choice and imagery. I felt every word. Awesome job:)
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