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Long Nights

I sit up late at nights you know?
Thinking about everything
How much my life has changed
How many new people have entered it
How even the slightest bit of Love..
Can change a person's whole perspective
on everything and anything they do..
It's 3:48AM.
Why is it that demons and thoughts..
Come to haunt us when we are supposed to dream?
Night is supposed to be the time
Where we can dodge all the complications from the day time..
3:49Am.
I think about the people..
The new, old, dead, alive, ones who have been there.
I think of the certain ones..
My friend who may live far away.. yet I hold onto her dearly
she's like a sister to me..
One who no matter what won't stop caring about me
Loving me.. Keeping the promise she made
3:50AM
Him
The one that brought me the happyness I've never felt
All my smiles..
My laughter
How can one person just change me?..
But change for the good of me..
Falling to pieces before he came..
Thinking about him all the time..
Is this a bad thing?..
Tell me baby..
Do you think of me 24/7..
Like I think about you?..
I'm scared to lose him..
Scared that I might say something that might cause him to just vanish
Am I too clingy?
Do I say too much?
Do I not say enough?
Am I not good enough?..
3:51AM
Where are you friend I've lost..
Walking among the clouds..
Watching down upon me..
When you should be by my side
You left too early..
I'm desperate for you to come back..
3:52
My other half of my heart..
My best friend..
14 years have gone by and yet..
I feel they have came to an end..
I can't let go.
Yet it seems like you can..
I miss you
You're supposed to be here..
People hurt me.. and abuse me..
Throw me away like some tissue..
You were there..
Stood up for me..
wiped my tears..
now you're gone..
3:53AM
God help me..
I'm thinking so much..
Life is speeding by and I'm wishing it would slow down
Justice won't prevail..
My sword has broken
and my wall has shattered
I have my army
yet I'm so afraid to lose them..
3:54AM
I Love those who I hold dear
But am afraid to love too much
They help me..
Make me who I am..
3:57Am
More thoughs more thoughs..
Swimming through my head..
I'm holding onto a pillow..
Wishing it could hold me back
3:58AM
I smile..
Tell myself to hold onto what's dear to me..
Like they are my knights..
I am theirs..
They are mine and I will fight to keep them by my side..
3:59AM
Though I am scared..
Worried..
Nervous..
I need to stay happy
for those around me
For they are the reason I continue to walk this earth..
4:00AM
I drop pencil..
Lay my head on my pillow
And close my eyes
Dreaming of my butterflies



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