My Air

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I don't want to be here,
In this, with you,
with It.
It lives inside of me
Using my life,
Breathing my air,
Listening to my thoughts,
Using my life!

I'd rather be alone
without you.
Without It.





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Britney15 said...
Jun. 18, 2010 at 12:54 pm
This poem is great my only advice would be to take out "using my life" the first time it was used and keeping the second time. The way you described the baby as it was also cool, because if i was in your friends situation i feel like i would feel the exact same way. The ending is also very good
 
asiangurl said...
Jun. 17, 2010 at 9:56 am
its simple and short and staight to the point. i like it:) but you should put more description about the situation of how she would feel than a simple frustration. but i like how you were inspired by your friend's preggency. well done...keep it up
 
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