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Somewhere to Call Home

I used to be a dreamer once. I thought of a better life where all my dreams came true and the only worries I could have would be the breeze coming through an open window somewhere far away. I never stopped to think about what I was doing when I found myself sitting on the corner of an old dirt highway, waiting for my prince charming to come along. To me, I was going for the easy way out, the back door out of my life. I saw the future, all those days that I spent day dreaming about in class; everything I wanted to see. I could not see the pain that I would be causing, the many backs that would turn as soon as I came back to the conscious screaming at me from deep down. I was tired of walking on eggshells, breaking them into smaller pieces, just like my heart. I dreamed of walking through a field of wildflowers as songs from my lips came to life. It was not until I was looking to the stars outside my little window, slowly fading into the dark that I even hinted to myself that this was somehow wrong. The strong feeling of freedom gained to the inevitable absence of the pain that, in time would take over me.

I woke to the early morning light one day and I felt as if I had been hit across the face as my realization took the better of me, but by this time I was so far from what I held true and dear to me. The next day I was on my way home, hoping, praying for forgiveness. The only thing that kept my company was the low hum of tires on the highway and the snow that sprinkled down from the heavens. Where was my guardian Angel now? It sure was not with me this day when I came home to find that home was nowhere to be found. I was always told that if I ever went too far, the road would grow cold. My road had grown too cold and I did not know which way to run this time. I stayed in the shadows of my regret hoped to get through the next day, that everything would be okay. I went from home to home; another life style after another. It was just another step to take that would lead me farther away from those days I once dreamed about.
Now I am grown and very strong willed. I learned to live life as it comes and let the little things in life go, let the past go, and just move on as the better person. Life never goes as planned, but never did I once give up hope that one day I could run into those loving arms that I missed so much. I survived the darkest days and welcomed to brightest. Instead of closing down, I learned to reach out and take the help that I was offered. I gained knowledge that I never would have imagined that I will cherish for the rest of the days that I am alive. Backs are slowly, but surely turning around to face me and that old dirt road had never felt so inviting as I walk, not backwards, but replacing my footsteps with new ones.
Home is calling and Home is where I will be.





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