our lips touch dainty teacups
as fragile and breakable as
the air around us
as our conversation
sipping sweet, wild orange tea
my favorite:
you always were and still are.
my piano melodies
let's hum gently along
background music for my mind
another constant
like my pulse and the stars
filling the empty spaces
leaving no room to need you
try to pacify the emptiness.
but he's the ghost of a heartbeat
caged; too strong in my chest
reminding me where I am,
of risky behavior and
laughing until everything fades.
he's my one million clichés
but I never learned the art of a light switch heart.
inhale, exhale, speak.
our eyes meet, breathe
he glances away, breaks the contact
always hungry
always starving
those are the rules of our game
say something, anything
thoughtless, sporadic
he abuses each word
taking advantage of each sound
time slips through my fingertips
so fast the heart aches
it feels like homesickness
then he is gone
and it feels so familiar
every time
feral, urgent
numbness seeps deeper within
with each stroke becoming
as ingrained as the words on my wrist.
don't hold on, don't need
don't want, don't speak
'don't be weak'
he tells me
strong hands on my shoulders
the truth will not set you free,
the truth will not set you free.
and I find myself alone
with only the entire world
a forgotten trinket you left behind
and a slightly less innocent heart
for company,
as you go