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Die For Love

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I sit in the park where I dwell
For this boy I love so well
He took my heart away from me
Now he wants to set me free
I see a girl on his lap
He says things to her he never said to me
I ran home to cry on my bed
Not a word to mother was said
Father came home late that night
He looked at me from left to right
He saw me hanging from a rope
He took his knife to cut me down
And on my dress a note was found:
Dig my grave Dig it deep
Dig my grave From head to feet
And on the top place a dove
And remember this, I died for love….





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luv2write4ever said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 7:27 pm
I absolutely love this!!! I only have a few critiques. If you're going to rhyme, rhyme through the whole thing (You didn't rhyme when you said, He says things to her he never said to me) and you say "me" a lot. But other than that, this is my favorite poem in a while.
 
A_Dreamer said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Awe, this is so sad! :( But I like the story told by this poem. I like the rhyme scheme too. :)
 
Minnie101 replied...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Thanks to both! I tweek a line or two every so often when I get good advice so I really enjoyed the comments left. :)
 
respecturself7 replied...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 6:17 pm
this is a really cool poem! I agree with luvtowrite if you're gonna rhyme than do it all the way. cause otherwise it sounds choppy where it randomly has a line that doesn't rhyme but overall nice job! p.s. I love the last part.
 
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