First Sight

May 18, 2010
When I first saw you, it was of course from a distance.
She wouldn’t ever let me come near you.
A simple “hi” would mean death for the innocent.
I was invisible, I realize that now. I had no idea who you were.
I honestly didn’t even know your name. I heard stories…only stories.
You literally changed every single day, confusion came over me.
You were too much to keep up with; I wasn’t able to do it.
I wanted to know you so badly, with every fiber of my being.
Every time that you were waiting for her, I wished it was me.
But that never came true. I never knew what to do, I couldn’t help it.
Every time that you looked at her, I wished it was me.
Every time that you talked about her, I wished it was me.
Why do I keep running from the truth? It never would be.
Somebody like you, in my dreams…literally.
I’ve never been in this situation before; I’ve never known anyone like you.
I’ve never liked anyone like you before, and it scares me.
I’ve never talked to you, and you seem to be the one person that I want.
Whenever you walked passed me, I had to keep moving.
I wanted to talk to you, but when you passed, I froze.
You walked passed me once, slowly; of course, to go see her.
I was waiting for so long, that finally I wanted to give up.
I waited for you to walk over to see her, but you never did.
Days went by, and I never saw you. It was like you had disappeared.
That doorway never seemed so empty.
Finally…I did it. I talked to you. Not face to face, I wasn’t ready.
I had no idea what I was doing or why I was doing it. I just had to.
You were all I ever thought about, and I had to do something.
Days went by. They felt like seconds. Time with you just flew by so quickly.
Soon, I was that girl you were waiting for outside.
I could never stop smiling, it seemed virtually impossible.
You stole my heart in a matter of days. It all seemed unreal.
My heart was having an overflow, but I loved every second of it.
I had to step back from it and ask myself why. Why was I like this?
Why was I with you, when I barely knew you? I had known you for about a week.
Why was I doing this to myself? I had never been more confused.
I knew how I felt, but I could not tell you. You would think I was crazy
… Everyone thought I was crazy. After all, we were complete opposites.
We would never work, so I couldn’t tell you how I really felt.
I hinted at it, but you caught on very quick. You made my life that day.
You said it first. I couldn’t believe it. You had me memorized by three words.
Every day with you got better and better by the second.
Now, eleven months later, I sit here, writing this.
Still feeling the same way I did back then when I never even knew you.
Before you gave me a chance, before you told me you loved me.
Before I loved you.

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