A Dam

May 20, 2010
I wanted to write a poem
to tell you how I feel.
It was going to start a little like this,
with a soothing rhyming scheme, a catchy meter, brilliant metaphors and everything.
I wanted to bring you deep inside my soul
and with my words articulate with crystal clarity and overwhelming power
what I feel.

But even as I write this I am utterly inadequate
to instantiate into concrete blocks of verse
the swirling, passionate chaos of thought and emotion that is convulsing me inside.
That which I am bursting at the seams to pour out into the world
I can’t even begin to say.
I feel it so strongly and clearly;
Every molecule of my breath cries with what it knows,
what it understands innately.
How I yearn to tell someone!

But whenever I try, the words are cliché,
the phrases only phrases oft repeated.
I know not words able.
I need a new language, one of utter purity,
that so far transcends these pathetic pribblings, these pitiable pathways of prose, these pathological pretensions of poetic power.
They are nothing! These words mean nothing.
I might as well write this:


That’s the truest expression yet
of the rumblings in my gut and in my mind.
I am teeming,
full to the brink, spilling over the edge,
ready to pour torrentially out of me onto this paper,
or otherwise explode everywhere with all the force of my voice and my spirit,
but it can’t, it won’t,
so it builds up and builds up until I’m ready to burst,
a dam with the water pressure pounding on the inside of my mouth,
but there are no places for it to go,
no ways to let it out.

Please, give me the words!

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