Mind and heart frozen

My heart and my mind are frozen. Nothing seems to go my way or the way I wish it did. I wish I got that promotion. I wish I had that game. Now I can’t think of others or feel for those who I care about. Friends leave me alone and puzzle while they ask a question of why I'm still here. “I can't do everything, but I can do my best” is my life goal. Now I can’t even get that try because of my frozen body. Sometimes I get one shot to change it all, but I lose that when it comes of emptiness get horribly worse. My heart is in a box of ice dying for feeling and warmth. My mind is stuck under an avalanche of dark and frost. My head is ice cold with a headache of 2012 degrees below 0. I can’t make up my mind and neither can my heart when it comes to family or any important decisions and situations.