I wasn’t here because
My teeth thought they were getting ice cream
Instead they got a pair of braces
Now they're screaming in pain

I wasn’t here because
I went to Holland
And I frolicked in fields of flowers

I wasn’t here because
I was at my gramma’s funeral
My eyes were like rivers

I wasn’t here because
I was being tortured by the boring
orientation of Illinois State University

I wasn’t here because
I was hiking and climbing up Mt. Everest
The icy cold snowfall pummeled me

I wasn’t here because
I was at home with a terrible cold
With my nose running with goo
Careful, I might sneeze on you

I wasn’t here because
I decided to go around the world in 80 days
But I did it in 80 hours
It was an over rated experience

I wasn’t here because
I took a mental vacation
Woke up and decided I’m to cool for school
So I stayed in bed while my blakents hugged me
That’s why I wasn’t here