I can tell you many things that I bet you’d never guess about me. But who am I to change your mind when it is already made. In your eyes I am just a girl. A stupid one. I dress okay but my sides and my butt are just a pain. I put makeup so that every day I can hide in a façade. I don’t want you to see my pretty face. I hide in a mask. I am neither the best nor the worst but I tend to change to adapt. I just need to survive. I consider myself variously flawed. My heart, my soul, my life its extremely broken. But I bet you don’t know that. You see me walking strong and keep quiet in hope that no one will notice. But you never notice. I feel worthless and I know you think so too. I mean to you I am just a girl that you can’t attain. A stray flower in a sea of sunshine. I smile and I dance. But somehow there is always someone who will capture your attention better. I am gorgeous but I am just too short. What a shame. I am talented but I am just too short. I am intelligent but only as woman can be. There is always a but. I will never be good enough. You look at me and you see a fool. A freak. Somebody who you can touch because quite frankly I am nobody. And no one listens to a nobody. I hide my Hispanic heritage because it shames me. Hispanics they are the new slaves of America. They take the field and the low paying jobs and for this they want our heads. It is a good thing that I don’t look very Hispanic and my straightened hair makes my disguise more effective. If I was Hispanic no one would take me seriously. “Hispanics they don’t go to college” that is what I hear every day. It is shameful. I see the young girls of my culture wasting away. At the hands of sexist men who take their innocence. Who put their seeds inside them and forget that it takes two to make a baby. The girls who never manage to do anything or to live the American dream. Those are my people. I look around and I realize that I will never be that girl. The one with the cherry lips and playful smile. I mean physically I could be. But guys they will never look at me because I am just too different. I am not an idiot. And the best characteristics in a girlfriend are stupidity and vulnerability. Guys just like to be strong. They like to be macho figures. Girls are good for showing off. We are meant to be dolls. If a girl has a mind then she must truly be a freak of nature. I feel powerful with words. They are my weapon against the world. Nobody can discriminate you if you have a mastery of anything. Knowledge it is the strongest nuclear weapon in the world. It puts you on top of other people. And yet why must I sacrifice living normally for knowledge. Why can’t the two things coincide? Why do they clash? My opinion is that people feel threatened by superiors. Nobody wants to feel inferior. But many people give up on knowledge. They don’t realize that knowledge is the key ingredient to living. With knowledge you can buy the world. So I speak out. For all the girls white, hispanic, black, Asian. It doesn’t matter. And for my people. Take a stand. Grab a book and prove the statistics wrong. We are all beautiful. We are all talented. We are all intelligent and we are all masters of our own destiny.
May 11, 2010