Never Forgotten | Teen Ink

Never Forgotten

June 2, 2010
By Anonymous

I don't need help if I forget it'll go away.
I was wrong what you did was burned into me.
How you snatched and gagged.
How you laid me in that alley.
How you touched me, so repulsive.
How you smelled like cigarettes,
and your hands where rough and cold.
How my tears streamed as you told me to stay quiet.
as you can see the details where not forgotten.

How futile my kicking and screaming was seeing as I was 12 and your grown.
How you broke my belt.
How you stripped my bottom bear.
How my tears flow heavier.
How you ran your hand down my body.
How I trembled at the fear of your next action.
How you slid your hand to my knees.
How I struggled to keep them together.
How the struggle was just as futile as before you easily get your way.
Obviously I never forgot!

How you kept me pinned down as you opened your pants to me.
How moments later you here in between.
How I closed my eyes.
How I imagined I was somewhere else.
How I came back to reality as you penetrated me.
TO THIS MEMORY I'M NOT FREE!!!!!
Forgetting is not possible for me.

How I felt ripped.
How I felt broken.
How you laughed as you took what you wanted.
How I bled.
How I cried.
How I wanted to just die.
How I couldn't wish myself away.
How could my imagination be broken?
You tore me Apart from the inside out.
I could not forget.

How your thrust kept going.
How you started to sweat.
How I was disgusted in every way.
A man in a car drove up, I saw hope.
How he looked just as disgusted as me.
How I reached a hand for help.
How he shamefully looked down at his lap and Drove away.
How I cry harder.
How I wonder why he didn't help me.
How you laugh saying I wasn’t worth being saved.
How you thrusted harder from the excitement.
You didn’t have a weapon Why didn't you help me.
My memories hold this burden.

How you pulled out and laid that load on me.
How you pulled up your pants.
How you smiled and said i was nice.
How you said you might do me again.
How you walked away.
How a stale relief set in.
I wish I could forget.

How I scooted against the brick wall next to a dumpster.
How I collected my clothes.
How nothing was ripped but my belt left broken.
How I got dressed and cried in that corner.
How I started to think I’ll just forget, it'll work.
How I said I wont tell anyone because I’ll only be reminded when they ask what happened.
How I sucked it up and continued my route to school.
How I stayed blank all day.
How I Purposely fell in mud so I could shower your smell without and questions.
Grandma asks what happened to your belt.
How I lied saying it got caught on a gate.
How I've tried to forget for six years and its not working I Quit.
I only forgot your face because that’s what I wanted gone the most. But the rest remains.
I still wonder of that witness.
I it pains me to remember but unfortunately this event Remains unforgotten.
I feel that something like this is Never Forgotten.


The author's comments:
a painful secret i told anyone. i hat to get it out somehow.

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