Anorexia

It growls
Once, twice, three times
It growls and is then silent

It feels like spinning
Round and around, till you fall
But you keep spinning
And you keep falling

It growls again
Ignore it. It doesn’t matter
It’s weak to give in
The growling stops

Movement is harsh
And the spinning doesn’t stop
The pain behind your eyes increases
Fatigue… nausea.

It’s been 45 hours
And it doesn’t seem that hard
Numbers drop, one by one
It works

Who would ever think
That this could happen?
This could happen to you
Do you want it?

It is addicting
It is empowering, yet weakening
Growling more fiercely now
You grow weaker

The bed feels nice
Cool sheets, the dark room
There is no growling while you sleep
You are at peace

You can’t explain why
And if you did, they wouldn’t understand
But it works… it works
That’s all that matters

Ignore the pain
Ignore the weakness, nausea, and fatigue
Your body goes numb
It works, it does

Two days, six digits
Down the number goes
Growling again, stronger now
Time to soothe the beast

The pattern is simple
Three off one on
Headaches, dizzy, growling
Ignore the fact that you can’t walk

You never thought that this would be you
The beast inside growling constantly
Ignore it all, allow yourself to be numb
Because you know it works