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Invisible Ink

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What can i do when my path is lost
When my feet dont touch the ground
when my heart feels like it ceases to beat
but everyone can still hear the sound...

I try to hard to hide my pain
but everyone can still see
like invisible ink that stil stains a page
or a disease inside a dying tree...

i must be blind or deaf or both
because i do not hear wat they say
when they talk about my potential
and i have my back turned their way...

I do not see my future
even though it must be right ahead
i have problems looking on to the next day
everynight i get into my bed...

i have ostracized myself
from my family and my friends
this is not how i want it to be when the door finally closes
when my life comes to an end..

I want them to know i always loved them
even though i would hardly say
because when i did it had no meaning
just a phrase i used everyday...

so please dear Lord
help me organize my thoughts
help me to get out the words
and work through all the knots...

the knots inside my stomach
the nots of growing pains
of maturing and moving on
washing away my stains...

i want a clean peice of parchement
minus the invisible ink
but this cant be washed out with regular handsoap
or in an ordinary sink...

so for now i wonder aimlessly
with a heart that does not beat
stumbling over pebbles and twigs
with scared and wonded feet...

To bad i cant find the path right now
in a little while i should
to bad i dont have the strength to tell you that i love you
because God knows i would if i could



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