Her Story

April 29, 2010
Do you know me?

Have you ever taken the time to figure me out?

No one can solve this puzzle

Many people have tried

But have never returned to their sane state of mind

I am very unpredictable

Swallowed up by a trench of depression

Here I am

Hovering over the brink that represents life and death

My only thoughta linger in the empty hole known as my heart

Lost photos of my parents who shut me out of their lives

Constantly reminded that I am nothing more than a mistake

Thoughts of my sister who I had held so close

Believing that she could understand what I was feeling

Watching as she walked out on me and never returned

All of life's meaning lost until you

Finally someone who can love me and try to understand

A shoulder to release my sorrow upon

One who I could confide in

Never will I make the mistake of underestimating you

Lying, hurting, left alone in my state of abandonment

Repeatedly attempting to heal my scars all alone

All I had wanted was to be loved

accepted or wanted

Trying hard to piece my worthless life together

I gave up and I began the process of abuse

I turned into a ferocious heating flame of resentment and hatred

My soft thought feelings turning to ash one by one

Only once did I try to fix myself... improve myself

So as I stand hovering over the edge

I take a leap of false faith and lean forward

As I begin to fall forward I see my life lay out in front of me

I look out and see the angel of death drifting away with me

I close my eyes and enjoy my feeling of release

I now understand how it feels to be careless and free

So as I am only a few feet away from my end

I think of my existence and how much disappointment that I have caused everyone

Now here I am thinking my last thoughts

Why was I created?

Why didn't anybody love me?

Why did everyone around me seem judgemental

I feel nothing as I hear a thud hit the earth

I can no longer feel pain

Finally I am where I belong

A sad taken soul on the concrete of this God forsaken earth

Moving onto the next world

Wondering if God too will judge me

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