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Can I Question Him?

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I ask him why… it’s a reoccurring question, why?
I look up, tears glowing from the light of the sky.
I repeat, re-ask him why, do you even care that I cry?
Those tears streaming down my cheeks now I ask him “Why can’t you let me die?”
Why, why, what does life have to offer to me, do I offend you, do I offend?
I gave him a chance, he gave me no sign, let my life end.
Why do these bad things happen, do I have to pretend?
No more fake smiles, I’ll just wait no hand to lend.
Here I am left denied, deserted, and alone.
The pressure hasn’t subsided its only grown.
Why am I being yelled at, why use that tone?
Why kick me when I’m down, why throw that stone?
I can’t live if I can no longer believe you.
Why am I still here, do you know what I want to do?
Why do I feel this pain, do you understand what I’ve gone through?
If you did I’m sure you would be asking why too.
Why blend my words, why twist what I do and say?
Why turn my world all foggy and gray?
I’m done with life, it doesn’t want me anyways.
Why do I end up asking why when I’m in a daze?
Here I am asking why, but it’s over, don’t answer me.
Why answer now if you never answered the many, if you never answered any.
I’m here, left to fall into the fatal hands of what I feel is destiny.
Now when I take my life into my own hands I hope you’re ready.



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This article has 23 comments. Post your own!

Meaghan_Elise said...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 7:26 am:
This is so emotional and beautiful.. I love it!!<3 Your work is amazing(:
 
CarolynQ replied...
Apr. 20, 2012 at 1:24 pm :
thanks :) I'm sorry I haven't responded I haven't been on here a lot..
 
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hopelovepain said...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm:

Wonderful, truly wonderful. A few small things (all optional, of course) to change (changed version written) - "I'll just wait - no hand to lend" "The pressure hasn't subsided, it's only grown." "If you did I'm sure you would be asking why, too." "Why answer now ... answered any?" "Now.. hands, I hope you're ready."

 

All of these are just grammar things but most are still personal choice. Beautiful work - good luck and keep writing! (: 

 
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 1:42 pm :
I try to bend grammar to fit my style haha I don't like applying rules to writing, its sort of just another way of conforming to what is wanted, but thankyou and I'm glad you liked my piece :)
 
hopelovepain replied...
Jun. 22, 2011 at 11:17 pm :
That makes sense, but you should fix the its/it's still imho. 
 
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itskaylee. said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 1:17 am:
I instantly felt the pain. This poem is so powerful! I think we've all had that moment where we question Him...I love the way it flows when read aloud! <3
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 19, 2011 at 5:09 pm :
Thanks so much <3 :)
 
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ConqueringFears said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 12:03 pm:
Yes, this is a bit like my, 'the Illustrator,' but I have to admit this is more deep and harder to comprehend. But that is a good thing! It's easy to understand the view of this, as so many things in this world are messed up and so courage and endurance has to be stronger than ever. From this, I get that you understand how the people in the world have done the wrong things that they've done - whether it be actual suicide or just a misfortune - yet you know they're wrong and don't forgive unless ... (more »)
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm :
It's about a loss of faith, I'm talking about how I'm suffering and asking God for help, but he gives no offerings and lightens none of my burdens leaving me to feel the pain- but his lack of answering me causes me to question whether or not he is real, it also makes me question if maybe as a god he controls my pain and inflicts it on me as well. Finally it talks of entire loss of faith and a possibility of taking my own life. It was a very deep poem, I was going through a hard time.
 
ConqueringFears replied...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm :
Yeah, I'm going though that kind of phase, too. So I guess its not only questioning God, as is the title, but also yourself, whether you're testing your strength, your faith, your will. It is kind of seeing what lengths you would go before collapsing under the pain and giving in to what Satan wants so he can keep you under. I feel the same, and so do many others.
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 19, 2011 at 5:08 pm :
Yeah, I've finally conquered my battles with the pain and depression, listen if you ever need somebody I am always willing to give a listen :) You aren't alone, it's a difficult battle but you can beat it!
 
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ShadowriderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 11:16 pm:
Very deep and very good. There was one line when it says "Why, why, what does life have to offer to me, do I offend you, do I offend" The double use of "do I offend" is a little akward, but that's all the critique I can give. You're a great writer!
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 4:01 pm :
Thankyou, yeah I thought about changing the line, but in the end it made the piece less of what it is.. I loved saying it outloud and once I fell in love with the way it pored out of my mouth I couldn't go back and edit it out. :) I appreciate it!
 
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ilikenoodlesalot47 said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 7:43 pm:
This was too good. I'm jealous of how great of a writer you are. <3
 
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MaKayla1513 said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 6:43 pm:
I have a new story out called Im just going to end it all check it out when you have a chance! Comment and rate it for me
 
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Han15 said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 2:52 pm:
:) great! I really like the line, "tears glowing from the light of the sky." Keep it up!
 
CarolynQ replied...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 12:04 am :
:) ! ! ! its all in the imagery...  hehehee
 
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crubs3 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 6:34 pm:
Wow this is really good!!! its not about you tho rite??....
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jul. 18, 2010 at 6:00 pm :
thankyou.. its about things that have touched my life.
 
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bkcrider92 said...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:32 pm:
WOW love this! So powerful! I also have another one called Silly Little Puppet if you wanna check it out? =D
 
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