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Slipping Through the Fingers of Darkness

By , Pequannock, NJ
Darkness, cover me in your quilt of secrets.
The silence echoes with words unspoken;
Who said the pitter-patter outside my window is steady?
Disconnect me from reality.
Like a spider web, like my winter coat, like an endless embrace.
Absorb my every last breath until I can breathe no longer
because darkness makes everything absurdly alluring.

Half-squeezed toothpaste bottles with caps astray,
Mascara runs and runs
Runs and runs
Away
Can I come with you?
I promise, I won’t occupy too much space
Just leave some room for me and my imagination.
Okay, so maybe my imagination will occupy a little too much space.
I would ask if I could bring my dancing shoes,
but what better shoes to dance in than my bare feet?
Remind me not to forget my journal,
And my favorite blue pen.
I do plan to be writing home once we reach our destination.
Because my mother will be crying
And my father furious about my absence.
My sister will steal into my room
In the darkness.

The same darkness which drives me insane
The same darkness I crave every moment of cloying light.
But in return, you must make me a promise
Please don’t bring me to a world of perfection
Where I have nothing left to do but fail.
Strike a match, not a pose
And watch as smoke fills the air.
Am I going too fast for you?
My face is cryptic,
Yours exasperated.

Wrap your arms around me, Darkness.
I am waiting for you to come.
The trail of spilled paint you have left behind lives
Lives in memory of you
Lives in spite of you.

Because my ears are tired of hearing the voices
In my head
Which never stop talking.
And the voices
outside my head –
don’t get me started on those.

And I laugh in your face when you call me an optimist,
Because I am
As far as you’re concerned.

Oh ignorance,
Shall I call you a curse?
Or are you yet another beauty of life
One of very few, if I do say so myself.

Torn pages off the calendar
Lay on the floor,
Hundreds of drafts of crumpled imperfection accompany them.

Because even in darkness
Even inanimate objects
Need company.
But it is I who disagrees with this unspoken rule,
Because loneliness is my safe haven.
Because in darkness,
All you can see is my soul.
And maybe
Just maybe
That is all I want you to see.





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