Death

May 5, 2010
By EmmaNemma GOLD, The Shire, Vermont
EmmaNemma GOLD, The Shire, Vermont
10 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you think you are a hypochondriac by definition aren't you?


Frosty arms close round your chest.
As eyes close, you finish your quest.
Darkness closes around your eye
Your breath escapes, a cold death sigh
A roaring river, the final test
To separate the kindness from the evil nest
The splashing waters of kindly and trust
The place where the dead will never turn to dust



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This article has 8 comments.


on Aug. 3 2010 at 10:23 am
Pitiful_Anonymous PLATINUM, New Cumberland, West Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and all you f***ers go beep beep beep in cheap,plastic cars. If It's to dumb to see or say you'll still sing it, and I'll just cue the applause" - Marilyn Manson

this was amazing! The only problem is that i wish it was longer!  You did really great and have really given people a sense of what death is like.. great job! :)

on Jun. 30 2010 at 9:41 pm
That was pretty awesome. I wish it was longer lol

on Jun. 30 2010 at 1:01 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

This good. But something about the flow is a little bit choppy. BUT I am OBSESSED with imagery and metaphors, and you displayed them beautifully. (Don't change this into a short story by the way like someone suggested. It's better as a poem.) Work on the flow and this will be AMAZING! And if you could check out my work sometime that would be great!

deka9 said...
on Jun. 30 2010 at 10:28 am
This is great! I love how you make death sounds so peaceful and carefree, hahaha. I also like your allusion of the river in the Greek mythology. When I read that, the picture of the river and the boat came to my mind clearly, hahaha. Good job, keep up the good works.

on Jun. 27 2010 at 6:26 pm
Authorgal98 GOLD, Frankort, Illinois
17 articles 0 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let your mind sart a journey through a strange new world..."

Oh, yeah! And i loved the imagrary, too ^.^

on Jun. 7 2010 at 8:40 pm
roxymutt BRONZE, Marietta, Georgia
4 articles 5 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. -David Henry Thoreau

mmmm i like this...hahaha im usually not a poetry reader and i think differen but i can deffinantly see this as more then a poem you could turn this into a short story! :D its a great idea...and ur right most people think others die and just go in the ground but in water the body actually is somewhat preserved for a while!!! i know ur a poetry person but if you could check out my work it's quite short that would be lovely! its called beep... if you get the chance...if not thats alright too! good luck and keep it up!

EmmaNemma GOLD said...
on Jun. 2 2010 at 5:31 am
EmmaNemma GOLD, The Shire, Vermont
10 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you think you are a hypochondriac by definition aren't you?

Thanks! The river is supposed to be the River Styx from greek mythology.

DaisyC. said...
on Jun. 1 2010 at 4:45 pm
DaisyC., North Bennington, Vermont
0 articles 0 photos 112 comments
Nice! I especially liked the part about the river (who would have thought.) Keep it up.


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