You Break

April 29, 2010
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You never really care
until it's too late
and you've gone in
to take the bait

it was someone else's problem
it wasn't yours
but now your the broken one
and down on all fours

you said it'd never happen
that you'd be okay
so now you know
it doesn't matter what you say

others get torn
you push them aside
you get burned
and you went and cried

now you can see that it is real
the problems weren't fake
and he's coming after you
cause now is when You break.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

A.Dreamer said...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 8:13 pm
I like how you got this inspiration! I agree with Brian, it could use some grammar work. But this could turn out great once you put that in!
 
Brian_Lambert said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 1:29 pm
This is good. The only real issue is Grammatics. You have no capitolization, or punctuation. I hate to sound like a teacher, but those things are important.
 
luv2write4ever replied...
Jun. 25, 2010 at 8:12 pm
I like it. But I have to agree with Brian, it does need puncuation. Other than that I love it because it tells a story and that's what I love most about poems.
 
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