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Death within Life
The party was in full blast. The sun had set, and darkness took its place. Time passed, yet I waited. No rest. No food. Don’t eat. You’re fat. Fat. Fat. Fat.
The evil voice grew in my head, my skull threatened to burst. No longer a voice, but a person inside of me.
I was always alone, in a room full of people. Alone except for the Devil. He lived, encased in my body.
He said, “Don’t eat.”
Why not? Less food is less fat.
At home, I was alone. The voice grew, took my own. A parasitic bond between me and the devil. Anchored, addicted, helpless. I always listened.
He said, “Don’t eat.” I succumbed to his malicious grasp.
Why not? Less food was less fat.
He led me to the basement. My prison. The pitch-black darkness engulfed me, took over whatever spirit was left in my frail body. Running in the dark, a secret.
Just between me and the Devil.
My feet pounded on the grey band that came. It left. It came again. As the hours passed, my legs ran on their own. Possessed by the evil spirit that had lodged itself in my soul.
“Faster. Faster. Faster. Go. You are fat, hideous, ugly. Obese.”
At school, at home, friends were there. But they were not. How could they stoop to help me? No teenage girl looked out of my dark pupils. The Devil was me. I was the Devil.
If only. If only I could shed it! The parasitic monster. There was no scalpel, no strength left in me to sever the bond that tied us together.
The bond was the mirror. Here, a war waged between mind and body. Devil and soul.
The Devil deprived himself of no pleasure. Sucked the life out of my soul, my body. Leaving bones, an empty shell.
“You belong to me,” he said. “ Do not eat.”
Emaciated, lost and at the end of life, I hated myself. The Devil. My body.
But somewhere inside me came an angel. A stray of pure white came to me.
Lifted me out of a pit of despair.
The Devil faded. Became quiet.
Once again, the party was in full blast. This time, the sun rose. With an angel in my heart, I was no longer alone.
The angel whispered to me. He said, “You are beautiful.”
I was myself once again.