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dear jenn

i miss you. i couldnt count the times and thoughts i have wished to see and talk to you, if i tried it would be mind boggling. Sometimes it feels like you've been gone forever and othes your right here. sometimes something might happen and i just wish i could share it with you like we used to , but in truth youve only been gone for a couple of months.Those months may not seem very long but so many things have changed about me. Life is back to a semi-normal existence. However i may not be like you remember. it seems strange to say that i am a happier person. Do you remember that quote where they say that you cant really laugh till you cry, well it seems to be proven true. My whole out look on the world has changed. Im not so pessimestic anymore. I have discovered how beautiful life really can be. Now that i am on my own im seeing everything so different. Ive also met an amazing guy that reminds me of you and eric. I am so busy now that i am slowly learning to live wihtout you. I guess you relly have to let go og the ones you really care about. Its hard though believe me. I have begun to love myself even more. I havent let you go in my heart and i dont think i ever will. Im tired of feeling so sad about not being able to see you. Its the end and its probably going to take me a while to fully understand how this happened. I guess i just know i cant put myself in a situation again. I hate being set up to fail. I hope when you are old enough and move out maybe life with us will be better if existant at all. I love you and Emma so much and we used to know eachother so well i guess ill miss that the most. I guess im ready to say good bye. I love you and Emma, wish that i didnt have too but life is funny that way. i would love to hear from you everyone in a while because i will always care Jennifer. I know you hate me but im hoping its just because of your stubborness and hard head, i reallly hope you can forgive me for what ever i may have done.
i love you
joyce



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