A Regret Filled Redemption

April 27, 2010
By , Scarsdale, NY
You know today for the first time in awhile I went down into my backyard and sat down on the grass and gazed at the overcast unripe spring sky. As I looked around, while thinking about my life, I saw a small brown bird fly around. The bird landed on a tree and started to chirp. The branch on which the bird was resting on began to crack and broke off from the tree. As the branch started to fall towards the yellow grass the bird simply stretched it's wings and flew off; inadvertently avoiding certain death. The branch struck the ground with force as the bird calmly landed on another branch. It chirped and then proceeded to fly away into the overcast sky above.

After seeing this I couldn't help but connect it to my own near death experience. Laying in the hospital all I felt was grief and shame. Grief that I had drunken myself into unconsciousness and shame that I had put myself into this position. The next fourteen days became unbearable. I loathed walking into school and having some people lecture me on drinking too much while some others congratulated me on a job well done. I hated going home even more and having to look into my father and mother's eyes. I could feel their disappointment and disgust in me.

Connecting this back to my feathered friend, the bird had neither fear nor shame after almost dying. It didn't sit around for weeks and feel sorry for itself. It flew away and moved on. It realized what a small unimportant moment that was for it and continued on with it's life. This decimal of a moment wouldn't determine either of our futures. What I'm trying to say is prolonged periods of regret or remorse will not get you anywhere. Take a second to realize your mistake and make sure you learn your lesson. Then move on and be confident you won't make the same mistake again. I am sure I will drink at parties and I know the bird will most definitely land on a branch again. All creatures of the world can do is move on, by focusing on the wonderful parts of life while learning then ignoring the horrible parts.

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