Physical Words

April 21, 2010
Lies, insults, rumors, all these things fly around me.
How can they hurt me?
You have no idea,
these things dwell inside my head and constantly repeat themselves.
These words feel like a complete beat down.
Day in, day out they run through my mind and repeatedly put me down.
What am I to do?
I know I’m better than they say………aren’t I?
It took me almost all of my life to find somewhere that I’m equal
and find friends to make me see that I am better than they say and find self-respect.
But these physical words make it seem like peace will never be.
What do I have to do?
What do I have to prove?
What do I have to become?
Apparently love is a four letter word that is never spoken here.
Here in this prison,
I’m interrogated by my own mind.
I don’t know what to do.
I’ve searched my heart for the answers,
but confusion prevents me from going any farther.
I want to look intimidating but evidently it just makes me look like a joke.
These hopes and dreams I guess will never come to be.
No, but one day I’ll splatter color on this gray.
I will have my time, but until then I just crawl into myself, hide in myself
and await judgment day.

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