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my cave in the bottom of the bay

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gasping for air
dosent any one care
i am forgoten
i am alone
mufled screams
reality floting to dreams
i am cold
but yet i burn
i am in a empty room
but yet i feel crouded
my mind is mixed up
so confused
but yet so sucure
i am empty
no emotion
no heart
i my cave i try to run
but i cant yet get away
from reality i must flee
but which is worse
reality or dreams




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DeadPeopleKindaGrl said...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm:
I liked this one even better than the other one. Very very deep and beautiful. YOu are completely my new favorite poet. There is no doubt in my mind that u will be published. ( Oh and I used that same pic for my piece called The Awakening.) Thanx (:
 
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sweetdominance said...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 12:24 am:
It was alright, but I get the feeling you didn't look over it before you posted it. There are numerous grammatical errors, and no period at the end. Other than that, the flow of the poem was nice, but I would've liked more feeling. :)
 
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jonas_chick899This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 27, 2010 at 5:18 pm:
oooh kool!! completely loved it:DD
 
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Egyptiangirl13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 17, 2010 at 7:54 pm:
This is really good-i look forward to reading more
 
yin_yang replied...
May 25, 2010 at 11:54 pm :
thank you i have posted two more poems but they wont be in there yet because i just posted them
 
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