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my cave in the bottom of the bay

April 26, 2010
By yin_yang BRONZE, Rushvill, Ohio
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yin_yang BRONZE, Rushvill, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments
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gasping for air
dosent any one care
i am forgoten
i am alone
mufled screams
reality floting to dreams
i am cold
but yet i burn
i am in a empty room
but yet i feel crouded
my mind is mixed up
so confused
but yet so sucure
i am empty
no emotion
no heart
i my cave i try to run
but i cant yet get away
from reality i must flee
but which is worse
reality or dreams

© Mary A., Fullerton, CA

The author's comments:
this was like on the spot because i wanted to write some thing so i did in like 5 min.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 5 comments.

KourtneyBriann BRONZE said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 2:24 pm
KourtneyBriann BRONZE, Niles, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 90 comments
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I liked this one even better than the other one. Very very deep and beautiful. YOu are completely my new favorite poet. There is no doubt in my mind that u will be published. ( Oh and I used that same pic for my piece called The Awakening.) Thanx (:
TropicOfVirgo BRONZE said...
on Jul. 14 2010 at 12:24 am
TropicOfVirgo BRONZE, Pikeville, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become." C.S. Lewis

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It was alright, but I get the feeling you didn't look over it before you posted it. There are numerous grammatical errors, and no period at the end. Other than that, the flow of the poem was nice, but I would've liked more feeling. :)
HeatherBee BRONZE said...
on May. 27 2010 at 5:18 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

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oooh kool!! completely loved it:DD
yin_yang BRONZE said...
on May. 25 2010 at 11:54 pm
yin_yang BRONZE, Rushvill, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments
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thank you i have posted two more poems but they wont be in there yet because i just posted them
Egyptiangirl13 GOLD said...
on May. 17 2010 at 7:54 pm
Egyptiangirl13 GOLD, Kansas City, Missouri
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Favorite Quote:
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\"If music be the food of love, play on.\"

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This is really good-i look forward to reading more