The Way It That It Really Is

By , College Station, TX
You were my favorite to love
I fell for you harder
Every time I saw you smile,
I heard your words,
I held you close
You were my first
And I wanted you to be my only
You were so close to perfect
I let you become the center of my life
You made me feel alive
Your energy made me feel so strong
You made me feel so confident
Your encouraging words helped me through more than you know
My feelings for you over time grew intense
I even forgave you when you lied to me
When you were one of the people i trusted the most
I forgave you for cheating
I forgave you for making me cry
I forgave you for being a jerk
I even forgave you for ,more than once, breaking my heart
I forgave you for all those girls you were with
I forgave you for all the pain you caused me
I forgave you for forgetting and letting go of me
I was closer to you
Than I had been with anyone in a long time
You say I didn't know what I really felt
But that's a lie
And you know it
You were my love,
I let you become too much
I let myself be vulnerable
Then you cut me,
You tore me,
You broke me,
You shattered my heart
Emotionally I was ripped apart
And through it all,
As impossible as it may seem,
My love for you remained
When I finally realized
There was no way you could ever change your mind
That there was no way you could ever think you loved me again
I gave up,on you
I tried greatly to let you go
I became numb
Then I became bitter
I tried to replace you
But I just ended up hurting myself
Those boys don't care about me
To them I was nothing
I was just a girl
Who happened to be available
I happened to be ,once again, vulnerable
And in a way, I just let them take advantage of me
And I just let them, because I din't want to be alone
I needed someone to be close to me
In the end I didn't like it
It all just felt so wrong
And i cried, and i cried
I gave a part of myself to them
When really it meant nothing
And that made me think of you
I gave you every single part of me that i could
I was to them what I am to you
I am just not enough
It's okay though
Life continues
And here I am
This time I am really moving on,
With someone else
And maybe this time
Luck will be in my favor
And all his words are truth
And ,hopefully, he will get me fully over you
And just maybe he will one day truly love me
Entirely, the way you couldn't
And we will last
Because he will love me just the way, that I loved you





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