Attempt to Dream | Teen Ink

Attempt to Dream

April 18, 2010
By BabyV GOLD, Jachksoville, Florida
BabyV GOLD, Jachksoville, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
A really good poet write so that the reader can walk in their shoes just for that one minute. Victoria Jones


What is an attempt to dream
Is it as easy as it seems
if it gets destroyed and unravels at the seams
a child attempt at dreams
when do we care
do we care when the child wakes up in fright
because the monsters it only saw at night
finally came in sight
how do they feel
when they discover their monsters are real
what happens to that child who always asked why
because the one closest to them lie
how do they attempt to dream?
What does a child know
when the person around them doesn't know the meaning of no
How do you help a child that feels worthless
And the people who did it to them is mirthless
What is an attempt to dream
Is it as easy as it seems
if it gets destroyed and unravels at the seams

What is an attempt to dream
how do you even try
when everyone around you want you to die
How do you survive when you are so hated
And every attempt to change seem so jaded
can you forgive yourself for that mistake
How can you when God and everyone else chose to forsake
how do they attempt to dream?
When your life was lost
and someones life was the cost
How can you live with blood on your hands
how can you see hope when it lands
when your guilt makes you blind
and you miss anything that's kind
The hatefulness and the angry glares was what they didn't need
because punishing themselves forever is the choice they decided to lead
What is an attempt to dream
Is it as easy as it seems
if it gets destroyed and unravels at the seams


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This article has 11 comments.


BabyV GOLD said...
on Jun. 18 2010 at 11:19 pm
BabyV GOLD, Jachksoville, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
A really good poet write so that the reader can walk in their shoes just for that one minute. Victoria Jones

thanks that was sooooo nice, and it made me feel really good

on Jun. 18 2010 at 11:09 pm
scenexgore PLATINUM, Iron City, Tennessee
25 articles 0 photos 1 comment
you are just as good as i am on writing and rhyming. this will be added to my list of things i wish i had writen. sigh dare to dream.

on Jun. 18 2010 at 9:04 pm
Pitiful_Anonymous PLATINUM, New Cumberland, West Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and all you f***ers go beep beep beep in cheap,plastic cars. If It's to dumb to see or say you'll still sing it, and I'll just cue the applause" - Marilyn Manson

OOOH This is awesome :)  It's very emotional and it really speaks to me. Good job :)

on Jun. 14 2010 at 9:44 am
respecturself7 SILVER, Medina, New York
8 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is a natural law in life to settle.....I broke that law ~Katherine Hepburn
Love, Is the severest of mental diseases~U.K.
Spinning always spinning....when life puts me down I'll give you a call~respecturself7

This was really good! I know how difficult structured poems can be, really nice job!

BabyV GOLD said...
on Jun. 2 2010 at 7:13 pm
BabyV GOLD, Jachksoville, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
A really good poet write so that the reader can walk in their shoes just for that one minute. Victoria Jones

thanks, i've been getting mixed feelings on this poem, my bestfriend hated this poem. i'll read some of your poems

_ashh GOLD said...
on Jun. 2 2010 at 4:00 pm
_ashh GOLD, Chavies, Kentucky
10 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forever is composed of nows." --Emily Dickenson

i really enjoyed this!

it is a unique topic and you put a new perspective on it. I love how you rhyme, because as you could see from reading my poems i enjoy rhyming too.

I like how it doesnt seem forced, it was just good.

The last line is my favorite.

great job, keep writing!


BabyV GOLD said...
on Jun. 1 2010 at 8:21 pm
BabyV GOLD, Jachksoville, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
A really good poet write so that the reader can walk in their shoes just for that one minute. Victoria Jones

thank u this was the first rhyming poem i wrote in a looong time

on Jun. 1 2010 at 5:30 pm
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

This IS moving, and I LOOOOOVE the second verse. I don't really think it always needs to rhyme to be good, and this is a prime example of my opinion. Nice.

on May. 27 2010 at 3:35 am
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments
Yeh i agree bout hte rhyming in one or two places but you can really sense the meaning behind the words in this!!also you have nice language in there!!

on May. 25 2010 at 5:39 pm
just.be.me BRONZE, Dedham, Maine
4 articles 3 photos 10 comments
This is so... sad.  Very moving, but I agree some of the rhymes didn't flow and it seemed slightly choppy, the way you broke it up.  Really touching though, it makes you think

on May. 23 2010 at 12:27 pm
A_Fate_Unknown BRONZE, Enumclaw, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 152 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who make peacefull revolution impossible, Will make violent Revolution inevitable.

ah you weren't kidding when u said our writing styles are similar.

I love this although some of the rhymes didn't flow well like worthless with mirthless. But keep it up :P