Friends and family all gone astray,
Now I have lost my way.
They've all but disappeared ever since,
But sometimes I can catch a glimpse.
Spinning in circles, I search and look.
For that person who from me took.
There they are everyday,
But to them I cannot say,
What needs to be said.
So I say "I love you" instead.
But these words, they are not a lie.
I mean it when I look into their eye.
Whether to believe me or not, it is their choice,
But the words rang true in my voice.
I kiss them and walk away.
Deciding to hate them another day.
I know that day may never come.
My love for them never just some.
But always full and overflowing;
Like a little tree, always growing.
It stands strong and true.
And it always will no matter what they do.
A fool you could call me,
But it is only because you cannot see.
The things I do, are not the norm.
Sometimes I get to blame it on a storm.
Other days I'll try to explain it to you
And you'll think that you could give me a clue.
But you are not attached by emotion,
Inside you there is not a commotion.
You cannot see all the possibilities,
Of what almost was but will never be.
You can never understand the battles I fought.
Or how many lies I bought.
You may not remember me, from way back when.
You promised not to forget then.
Maybe that's what hurt the most; when what I wanted, I got.
In your eyes I could see that you forgot.
I looked away so the pain in my eyes you could not see.
So you couldn't see what you did to me.
You go on as if you never saw what I know you did.
But why wouldn't you? You didn't see as deep as I did.
I finally got what I wanted and it is a drastic let-down.
I was too late, and now I can see that to you I never wore the crown.
I was too late. And now it is too late.
I understand why you did what you did, but I cannot relate.
I didn't forget you. Not at all.
Now back into my shell I want to crawl.
But it is gone too.
Just like everyone. Just like you.
Vulnerable. Alone. Terrified.
I blame you for the tears I've cried.
I pushed people away and clung to memories and the past;
Only to find they aren't here anymore, and long ago passed.
Take this advice from a broken soul.
When it comes to things like this, you have no control.
I don't count on people not to change everything.
In the end that isn't the end, I'll just find myself breathing.
Inhaling disappointment and exhaling pieces of myself;
Only to be found after I am too deep into the soul of someone else.
Someone I used to be,
Who I was when I was happy.
But I don't worry. I'll bounce back again.
It might take time and I won’t know when.
One day I'll look up and see those who stuck around,
Through all of my ups and every single down.
I'll look and I'll see; I was never really alone.
I just felt it, down to the bone.
But now the feeling has vanished,
Forever from my heart banished.
Feel the fire. Forget the flicker.
The people inside me cease to bicker.
Open my eyes to this new magic place.
Look somewhere new, to another happy face.
And now we're linked hand-to-hand;
Strong against sadness, together we stand.
My smile grows bigger and bolder;
Here we are, shoulder to shoulder.
The Warmth envelops me and pulls me in tight;
And now I know, loneliness I will never have to fight.