A Lie I Did Not Choose

April 20, 2010
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Burning so deep inside me,

My core branded by this madness,
This mark that consumes everything I am.

The Beast rages with anger,
Tearing at its cage, mad with desires of freedom.
Something I cannot give.

This brand bounds me to this cage,
A world full of deceit.
As the true spirit of this being rots,
The world around crumbles.

How has my heart taken this?
How has my mind withstood madness for so long?
A life filled with no meaning,
Absent of any desire to continue.

Every bit of soul I had devoured, consumed
By soul of my ancestors,
Lost souls whose secrets I cannot reveal.

With deeds so fowl how can I continue this façade?
A shroud of darkness that encircles my spirit and demolishes
Any hope of true happiness.

Without remorse?
Without feeling of any kind?
I am nothing in this world,
Their sins are my legacy.

I walk as a ghost, my heart screeching the truth.
With every action.
With every breath I try to betray what they built.
An empire as vast as the world itself,
Spanning to an end I cannot fathom.

One soul, lost, tries to betray this covenant.
This trust thrust upon me without regard for
My life.

But how?
To destroy something so massive.
A symphony so devoid of humanity,
Playing instrument of pure evil,
Burning every bit of strength within me.

Like a vampire it feeds on my rage,
My love.
Bleeding my need for a better life.
Shrinking the animal with its every moment
In this world.

Its craving for secrecy drags any purpose of my life
To the depths of a place more sinister than they.

Their lust, their needs create a life so contorted,
So twisted by deceit.
I cease to exist.

But still I yearn,
As if through a miracle for a life beyond this shell,
This hollowed home I call my reality.

But how to defeat such a beast?
A vast empire.
Shades of madness that evolved from simple creatures
To voracious carnivores tearing away every bit of strength I have left.

My crossroads bring me to two paths,
Each ending in my destruction.
One a lie of false virtues,
The other persecution for deeds not my own.

How can I win a war when the enemy has me so entangled within its grasp?
To utter the truth reveals a cowardice I cannot face.
A lie cannot break the chains of its brother.

A minds split between two shades.
A heart bleeding their victory on either path.
Their past the knife driven through my heart,
My hands bound by my own cowardice,
My own weakness
Victims of what they were.

The truth revealed my life means nothing,
But a life of false virtues brings no more satisfaction.

I must face both realities, both truths so inevitable.
As I fall into a world of endless darkness
My mind fades.
My body fading into this despair like smoke in the wind.

This was not my choice,
But in either world I am damned.
For a past I did not choose.

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