the next generation

April 17, 2010
is there room for my brilliance?
i’ve found my path, and though i may stray from it, it’s involuntary.
let me in.
i am an artist and i have found the light. i have found the light. i have felt and experienced the light. i live the lights.
do it,
push it out -
there is nothing stopping you.
freedom is out there. find your soul and turn yourself inside out.
help me out. pay attention to these words, these feelings, these actions.
muscles are nonexistent and i continue to type, all for you, all for you i trudged through snow and cold and hail and made a snow angel and was alone.
i will not fight for you.
i will not fight for you.
i will not fight for you.
i will fight for art, i will fight for freedom of the soul, and i will not fight for anyone else but ourselves.
it’s hard, it’s hard and it is hardly hard at all
it’s easy it’s easy it’s easy, you are the only one stopping yourself.
i hunch over a keyboard, baring everything, it’s dark and warm and i can see nothing but my reality. this hotel bathroom is my laboratory.
this hotel bathroom is my sunny summer day and my warm summer nights, the good ones, the smoky ones – they’re hazy because i didn’t observe,
i did.
and one day i will balance both.
maybe i am.
god, it’s hard.
unleash the wild lion that is my heart onto the world,
carnivore at its best. i will take what i want and what i need, and there will be no difference.
the stomping is just drops of water in the bathtub, the television is people is the characters in my head in my reality
this bathroom is my laboratory
and this is my reality.
get out while you still can,
or not.
you are my pawns, i am your puppeteer, i am your god and you are my eternal clockmaker.
live live live live live
i don’t know what i want to do.

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