Rental Boyfriend (A Found Poem)

April 9, 2010
I’ll be 28 this year
a normal age to be single,
but my parents back home
have been harassing me
to get married.
They know that
“people will think their daughter’s abnormal,
gossip that she might have some disease
and can’t get married.”

I promised I would bring home a boyfriend
for New Year’s, but
I’ve been too busy with work and
haven’t found one.
I don’t want to let my parents down,
so I’ve decided to rent a boyfriend
to come home with me.
Only a 10-day home stay.

Looking for:
educated, employed,
between 5 feet 7 inches
and 5 feet 9 inches tall,
don’t be too skinny,
respect for elders--a must
glasses — a sign of erudition to Father — a plus,
possibility of ensuring the bloodline,
willing to politely endure
the nagging
of nosy parents who will
loudly and frequently
wonder why you
and I
have not yet settled down
and produced a grandchild
“We will not sleep together.”

Earn 5,000 renminbi, or $735
Flexible on price and open mind.

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