I pinky swear.

April 9, 2010
You see there’s this boy
(as it always begins)
He has stolen my heart.
Is he aware?
How could he not be?
I want to know…
Certainty scares me.
A beginning only leads to an
Ending.
I can barely speak,
Without
A stutter.
His eyes
His voice
His smile
He changes perfectly formed thoughts
Into incoherent babble with
The turn of his head.
Choose me,
Let me whisper
the words I long to say.
***
I want to be beautiful.
I want to be desired.
Maybe not even desired by you.
Just by someone.
I want love
But will settle for less,
In a skipped heartbeat.

365 days
365 chances
365 smiles,
Conversations
That I long for,
Thirst for,
Need.
Please,
Just grant me one wish,
I promise I won’t wish for three more,
I pinky swear.

I relish the pain you have caused
At least I can be sure of what I feel
You still have control
But not nearly as much
I need you--
To take control--
To take the lead
Let me know,
Exactly.
s-p-e-l-l
i-t
o-u-t
For me
So I can think
Straight.

but

I wanted to thank you


for teaching me



what it is to




truly love





someone



other than








me.





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