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He was standing at the edge when I found him,
Looking out onto the city.
I walked up and he heard me approach.
He turned ‘round, saying “isn’t it pretty?”

I nodded my head and slowly I said
“What’re you thinking ‘bout, bro?”
He scuffed ‘round the sand with the toe of his shoe
And said “I don’t know, sis. I don’t know.”

Now, I’d always known my big brother was bad
His sad mind would get in a rut
He’d say some bad things and he’d do some bad things
Bad stuff about I don’t know what.

But I’d also known that my brother was sad
I’d do little things, try and cheer him
I’d go in his room and I’d give him a hug
Even when no one else would go near him.

I think what he did next had been stalled and put off
Like an appointment that keeps getting bumped-
He told me he loves me, he gave a wry smile
Looked out over the cliff-
And he jumped.




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amaranth178 said...
Jul. 1, 2010 at 11:06 pm:
A wry smile.....ah...bittersweeeet. Wow. Complex thoughts. Great job!
 
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crawfordkid This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2010 at 12:08 pm:
This is really interesting; your writing style is incredibly original and refreshing, and I enjoyed how poetry tells a story more clearly than most imagery. Very nice!
 
Eilatan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 6, 2010 at 12:28 pm :
thank you! I remember talking to you on the comments for 'one man, one woman'. your work is very well done too, thanks for taking the time to comment!
 
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faypirate23This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 18, 2010 at 6:45 pm:
this is rlly gud i like ur stuff ;)
 
Eilatan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 18, 2010 at 7:10 pm :
thank you! I'll be sure to check out your work as well.
 
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sydney_hopeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 16, 2010 at 5:26 pm:
The end made my heart stop for a moment. No joke. This is absolutely amazing, it's almost making me cry. I absolutely loved this, it's amazing. I loved the first stanza, it's beautiful. I want to read this over and over again... I'm hanging it in my room. I love it.
 
Eilatan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 17, 2010 at 7:38 pm :
Thank you so much! I means so much to me that my poem means something to someone out there in the world. I've read some of your work, too- you're very talented. thanks again!
 
AbbyQ This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 6, 2010 at 2:45 am :
I AM crying. Wow. How do you write so powerfully? This is absolutely amazing. My heart stopped, too. Fantastic work.
 
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