Shower Tree

April 8, 2010
Flowers bloom in the middle of May

Just to die in late December

No matter what you do or say

They shall be doused like water on hot embers

5
Into the darkness

Into the night

Here there is no best

In this place that knows no light


Relinquish the thoughts from your head
10
Let go of flowers dying

Of loved ones already dead

There is no use in trying

To take back what was once said


Bang, Pow, Boom
15
Wars of life going on

Flowers fall in the gloom

Never again to see the dawn


Yellow flowers swept

Torn from dying trees
20
Never to be kept

Never to be seen





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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

sleeplessdreamer said...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 3:02 pm

This is great... for the most part. Why in the world didn't you cut that fourth stanza out? Because, you are right, it's kind of the eyesore of the poem, you know? (Not meaning to rub salt in the wound or anything.) Still, very good poem... The flow was a lot better in this one than the one I just read.

 

Hey, could you read some of my work and tell me what you think???

 
amicrazyorisitjusteveryoneelse replied...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 5:09 pm

i can't change it after i post it

... it's the worst part... so retarded to post it  

anyway i had to use onomonopea for school... think that's how to spell it... haha   i will check your stuff out right now

 
Fat cow said...
May 30, 2010 at 9:29 pm
One of my all time favs, best ive ever heard. 
 
amicrazyorisitjusteveryoneelse replied...
May 31, 2010 at 12:48 am
i really don't like the fourth stanza   but thanks fat cow
 
hxcRocker said...
May 6, 2010 at 5:16 am
i understand why you don't like the forth stanza but you actually made the onomatopoeia work, Another good poem  
 
amicrazyorisitjusteveryoneelse replied...
May 7, 2010 at 10:47 pm
blah.. still dont like ittt
 
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