Mamihlapinatapai

April 8, 2010
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Hyperventilating,
Oh god,
I hope she will be there tomorrow.
I am so lonely,
I need her.

A planet knocked awry of its orbit,
Floating alone in the abyss.
Only she can anchor me,
Yet she doesn’t know it.
She is the world to me.

Everyday her smile,
Long blinking eyelashes
Which partially cover
Beautiful emerald green eyes
Set like a beautiful stormy sea
Inside a snow globe.

The only thing that
Keeps me going
Is everyday the small hope
That she will notice me.
That she will love me.

Kind of funny,
She doesn’t even know me,
Hell, I don’t even know her.
Responsibility lies
Obliviously on her shoulders.

I spend my days and nights,

Alone.
Too fearful to seek her out,
To seek anyone out,
To befriend.

How many times
Have I needed her?
How many times
Have I planned
To tell her I loved her?
The same amount of times
As I’ve been too cowardly
To speak.

Standing in the line,
Three people down,
Ordering the same meal as her,
Hoping she will notice my tray.

Once, one majestic occasion,
She said she liked me shoes.
I haven’t worn another pair since.

Sometimes I wonder
If she is happy.
If she is loved,
If her heart is taken?

. . .Or,
What if?
She too is a planet
Knocked awry of her orbit,
With the only thing
That could possibly hold her still,
Is everyday seeing me?

Mamihlapinatapai
Complexity translated to
Tragedy.





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